I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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