it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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