I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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