his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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