we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
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She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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