Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize