I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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