bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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