i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I wish you could order shots online.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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