God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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