I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there was a trapeze. enough said
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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