All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
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Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
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At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize