i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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