she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
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Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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