maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize