i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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