It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize