Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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