Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
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If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
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He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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