also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
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The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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