my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
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you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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