But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
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Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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