Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize