Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize