I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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