Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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