I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize