The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
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And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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