I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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