I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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