so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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