I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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