After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
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seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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