Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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