All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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