is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
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Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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