Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize