Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
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I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
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Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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