At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize