singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
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Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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