Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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