my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize