How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
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He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
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I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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