I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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