Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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