I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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