I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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