I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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