i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize