Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
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He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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